u2october's Diaryland Diary

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Pancreatitis, Tom Petty, and intentional communities

I will actually speak to an attorney tomorrow about proceeding with the divorce. I can’t believe I just typed those words, but I honestly don’t think I will survive if I don’t. My pancreatitis has been flaring up and I think it might be the stress and not the cluster of tumors on my liver and the one on my kidney.

I hope Jess and I can one day be friends. We started as friends, and I think losing that friendship might actually hurt more than losing the marriage. I just can’t take any more gaslighting that has made me second guess myself about whether or not I’m a good person.

In the end, we’ve agreed on 50/50 custody, she will buy me out on the house, and I’ll buy my own place in the woods where I might start my own intentional community, but with indoor plumbing and A/C and shit.

I feel like I can say that I tried everything I could to save the marriage, and that at least will help me sleep at night. Those nights are easier when I have those three amazing kids in the next room. They are my life’s work, my passion, my everything.

Time to move on. - Tom Petty

:end transmission:

00:03 - 02.08.24

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