u2october's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Year of Sleepless Nights The hardest thing I’ve ever done when it comes to a relationship is to try and maintain emotional space and boundaries while being physically close. I’m currently laying on the other side of a king bed from Jess while the rain falls outside. This is the perfect environment for cuddling, but that is not an option at this moment in time. After Jess went to bed(I can’t let myself go to bed until everyone else is safe and sleeping in their beds) I went to a local dive just to get a drink and sit by myself. Over a bourbon and coke and some really loud top 40 tunes I just sat and tried to turn off my mind for a bit. I observed the local patrons in their clusters of 2-3 friends, and a small wedding party that clearly wasn’t ready to go home after their reception time at the knights of columbus ended. Most seemed to be having a relaxing time. I’ve never been the type to socialize at a bar, much less attempt to “meet” someone, and that definitely was the last thing on my mind. I just needed to be somewhere else for a little while. I came back home and quietly checked on Jess and the kids before retreating to the basement with Rosie, my Siberian Husky got another sleepless night in a year of sleepless nights. :end transmission: 08:16 - 09.23.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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