u2october's Diaryland Diary

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Feeling Strangely Fine

Hey god, it ain’t Margaret.

I’m laying in bed in my basement room with my eight year old, Noah on one side of the bed and a curled up Siberian Husky between us.

I’ve decided that I don’t think I want to date right now. Maybe not even for a while. Part of that is likely because I still love Jess. I’m not under any delusion that we’re getting back together, and I’ve accepted and respect her decision to end our 15 year marriage. That being said I can’t change my feelings. I’ll probably carry that torch for a while.

I am focusing on raising my kids and becoming the best version of myself. In the past I think I’ve chased the next relationship far too often and I’m not interested in doing that. I feel decent about myself for the first time in a long time. Maybe the first time.

Do I still have some heartache? You betcha(fuck you sarah palin). Am I going to let it derail me? Not a fucking chance.

:end transmission:

23:57 - 06.13.23

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