u2october's Diaryland Diary


My So-Called Wet Blanket Social Life

A lot of moving parts these days in my world.

There is the obvious divorce situation. I've finally started the emotional process of moving the fuck on. I tried everything I could to salvage this marriage, but I discovered that if one of the parties is hellbent on torpedoing your efforts so they can explore a quixotic is the grass greener expedition, well...you just can't really stop them. Karma is a bitch and as Gillian Welch explained, time is a relevator.

I put in an application on a beautiful little apartment in a wooded park on a peninsula of the Bush River at the Chesapeake Bay. It has the feel of a summer camp and I think it will be a decent setting for me to hit the reset button on this middle-age train wreck I've been playing on repeat for the last two years. There are fire pits by the water, a pool, game room, and my prospective apartment is spacious and could be a cool space for me to have the kids over whenever I want as it is within 10 minutes of my current house.

I went out with some friends for the first time in eons last night. It was an innocuous enough event - essentially a cover band that plays 90's pop rock/grunge/pop hits that people sing along to while having a few drinks. This meant that of course I was awkward as fuck and chilled like a statue over on the side as my friends had a great time. This religious trauma bullshit really puts a wet blanket on your social life, or any attempt to have one.

I'm maintaining my physical boundaries with Jess because I feel like it is both necessary for my mental well being, and because emotionless sex with her is just fucking weird, for both of us. This means of course, that I have not had sex in a little while now, which is about as awesome as it sounds. I've never been good at the hookup scene, so this situation may not change for a while.

I'm sure everyone wanted to know that.

I'm still not sure where my life is going, or what the hell comes next, but I did just get accepted into Old Dominion University to finish my BA, then I'm going to become a labor arbitrator via Cornell's ILR Program.

I guess that is at least a start.

:end transmission:

00:07 - 11.05.23


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