u2october's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- C'est La Vie Being alone sucks. I am still not used to this. Until the last two years, I had never gone more than three months without being in a relationship since 2003. Adelle was the 3rd person I ever dated. We got married, although we truly had no business doing so. That lasted for about two years. Then I moved to DC, dated two more people for a few months each, then I found Jess. Fifteen years and three kids later, she left me for someone else who was running from their own long term marriage. The conclusion I have come to is that both Jess and her new boyfriend shared the experience of getting married fairly young and getting to their thirties and feeling like they didn't get to live free in their twenties. In a weird sort of way, this mutually assured destruction of their marriages is a subconscious attempt to turn back time. I don't know why I thought I could possibly fight that. C'est la vie. But I find myself still not knowing what to do with myself on certain nights when I don't have the kids, and I'm not feeling inspired to write. I have been diving into my druidic studies, carving wood, medicating with cannabis, and spending time out on the hiking trails. C'est la vie indeed. 09:07 - 08.21.24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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