u2october's Diaryland Diary

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Wrong Flex

Today was brutal.

Not because of a busy work day, or drama with Jess and the kids. Both of those went pretty well today.

I’m in a lot of pain. More than I let on to most people. Between these ongoing mysterious abdominal issues and the fact that I can literally feel this cancerous tumor on my left kidney, most days are a struggle against fatigue and the weird feeling of your guts hurting and feeling like you’re going to shit yourself, but not actually needing to use the bathroom.

I wonder if they ever tell prospective doctors in medical school that telling a patient that “you will die if you don’t do X” is not the flex they think it is when the patient has chronic depression.

My endocrinologist told me that I will eventually have to go on rulings injections, to which I told her, I will never do daily injections. She said, “but you’ll die.” I replied, no offense, but that isn’t a threat to me. Then I showed her the tattoo behind my ear. I think it shook her up a bit, but hey, at least now she knows.

It’ll all work out.

:end transmission:

22:22 - 06.03.24

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