u2october's Diaryland Diary

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This is How Your Marriage Ends

February 13th would have been our 13th anniversary. I’m not superstitious, but I AM getting divorced. I finally had the old “rip off the band-aid” discussion with Jess.

We hugged. We cried. We fucked.

We were never a normal couple. We were best friends who found themselves in love, started a family, built a life together, but lost our way somewhere along that decade and a half.

What comes next? I don’t know.

We told the boys tonight. -742/10 would not recommend. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I thought I knew pain, but then Luka looked at me with tears in his eyes and asked me, “Did I do this?”

That is a dagger to the heart, the likes of which I don’t think I’ll ever experience again. The boys did eventually come around, and I moved to the spare bedroom. Jess and I were best friends before anything. I believe we can eventually get back there.

I’m sad, heartbroken, and a billion other emotions right now, but I am here.

:end transmission:

01:04 - 01.22.23

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