u2october's Diaryland Diary



I took a long hike by myself yesterday. It was silent, cold, and glorious. I don't get a lot of alone time, and Jess being as intuitive as she is, realized I needed a break and took the kids out for a bit.

I took along my notebook, thinking I might jot down a few observations from my excursion. I was torn between two equally awesome, but completely different trails. One follows along the bluffs overlooking the intersection of the mighty Susquehanna River and the seemingly endless expanse of the Chesapeake Bay. It ends at the Turkey Point lighthouse, which sits high above the water on a peninsula.

The other trail meanders along Elk Creek. One side winds through this meadows where deer conceal themselves during the day, and several abandoned bridges still cross the water, rusted and covered in moss, but still standing. The other side of the trail traverses steep hills with switchbacks that overlook sweeping ravines covered with thousands of leaves.

I decided on the latter and headed to the trailhead. After crossing a covered bridge, I followed the narrow trail lined with barren trees. After a few minutes, I found a side trail that led down to the water. The soft roar from small waterfalls on either side of the bend surrounded me, and I decided to sit down and soak it in.

A little while later, I climbed onto an old bride and sat again for awhile. On the other side of the trail, I found a log at the top of a ridge and observed the leaves falling gently in the breeze, joining the other leaves who had gone before them. It was then that I had an epiphany about my own existence.

I have always had a hard time with death and where we all fit into the greater scheme of things. I visualized my life as a leaf, and it's life cycle and return to the forest, and everything became clear to me in a way that years of religion never gave me.

I have crossed the Rubicon.

:end transmission:

12:12 - 12.03.17


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