u2october's Diaryland Diary


Stockholm syndrome

Fuck. Here I am again, meeting in secret with my late night oasis. Since I can't afford therapy, this will have to do.

So, awhile back I signed up for a study with the genetic company 23 and me. In exchange for a free DNA ancestry kit, I do monthly cognitive studies that we hope will one day lead to someone else not being as fucked up in the head as I am. It asks me on a scale how hopeless, stressed, depressed, etc I am. They probably are ready to send out the orderlies for me at any time. But what these cognitive tests have illustrated is that behind the depression, anxiety, and stress, is a really serious case of paranoia.

This shit is crippling my life and I feel powerless against it. It has been around for so long I'm not sure I'd be the same person if it left. I've crossed the Rubicon into Stockholm syndrome with mental illness.

00:18 - 11.10.17


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